


Beach Day !!

by ultimatehope



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Adventure, Ambiguous Relationships, Beaches, Day At The Beach, Drinking, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone is on the same team now!!, Flirting, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Overwatch Recall, Team Talon (Overwatch)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22838518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimatehope/pseuds/ultimatehope
Summary: Jesse McCree has his whistle, his "SAMF" belt, and he's ready for adventure as everyone takes a day off at the beach.
Relationships: B.O.B./Tekhartha Zenyatta, Elizabeth Caledonia Ashe & Jesse McCree, Jesse McCree & Genji Shimada, Jesse McCree/Genji Shimada, Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada, Junkrat | Jamison Fawkes/Roadhog | Mako Rutledge, Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison
Kudos: 38





	Beach Day !!

It was whistle after whistle coming from the “lifeguard” for a variety of reasons ranging from “put on more sunscreen” to “have another beer”. None of his citations seemed to involve actual water safety.

“I’m beginning to regret giving him that damn whistle,” growled Reyes. He sunk deeper beside his husband who was nursing another can of piss water. The blonde cocked his head to look at the man in all black, still wondering how sweat wasn’t pouring off his russet brown skin. Reddish undertones were already creeping through his bare skin despite the layers of sunscreen that he had caked on. He already forgot what Gabriel had said, nodding along with his can being raised to show solidarity.

The next time anyone saw McCree, he was climbing onto a rock with both hands going to his hips. His thumbs slipped between his swim trunks and his belt, hands sliding forward until his fingers were sprawled on either side of the piece that made every outfit. This time, it said “SAMF” and the smugness on his face when he brought attention to it was there, even when no one else was around to see it. His sunken whiskey eyes surveyed the area, red outlined sunglasses aiding his hat in keeping that forsaken sun out of said eyes. 

Sweat caused his skin to start feeling sticky, and he briefly wondered if he should’ve shaved his stomach or chest or arms or literally every other part of him that was covered in thick, brown curls, but one glance down at his happy trail, he couldn’t see it go any time soon. His eyes prowled over to the seemingly endless ocean of blue to contemplate a dip in the water, and that’s where green filled his vision. Lucio and Genji, sporting electric green swimsuits, trying to share a frog floatie together. It looked as if one of them was to move the wrong way, they’d be going flying into the water, but Jesse was willing to bet one of Genji’s pointed edges would be the death of that floatie a whole lot sooner.

He jumped from the rock, landing in the sand with a cheeky grin as that whistle went right back for his mouth and he went running across the beach. His cheeks filled with air before he left one rip, waving at the two men who were perched at sea, “Got room for one more?!” They both screamed back “no” in unison before laughter erupted from the three of them and a couple spectators. 

The sound of joints popping snapped Jesse’s attention away from the water. He glanced back at the other sea of blue that was here today -- Ana, Amelie, Hanzo, and Satya all somehow in the same general area. Their swimsuits, cover-ups, towels, umbrellas all seemed to turquoise or azure or electric or royal or some shit. What stood out was that Ana somehow ended up squeezed into this mix. Jesse would’ve thought the sarcasm and attitudes of the other three would’ve sent her running for the hills. 

Could the hefty man really complain, however? It was sure a sight that sent his heart a fluttering. 

He couldn’t help but stare at the shades of skin that nylon and polyester didn’t cover. There were rolls and muscles and wrinkles and scars that were making him sweat worse than the heat itself but his eyes now rolled up on the only one who was standing -- Hanzo. It seemed he was the joint popper too, stretching his hands towards the sky before twisting his stout frame, probably from sitting on his ass all day.

Unlike the Hispanic man who had lost his lean muscle back in Blackwatch and replaced it with , the jiggle of a thousand rolls, the Japanese man’s fat and muscle were one in the same. He seemed to carry his weight in all the right places and his muscles pulsed as he closed his fists and twisted his arms. And it was almost certain that he didn’t have any hair on his body that wasn’t tied up tightly atop his head and decorating his jawline.

“Are you content with staring at me, cowboy?” Hanzo dropped his vest from his body and approached the man with the whistle, “Are you keeping me safe?” His lips puckered with the sarcasm dripping off of them.

The words snapped McCree out of it but he was speechless as the shorter man walked right past him, shouldering him along the way. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until the electric blue eyes looked right through his tinted shades, almost as if he was staring into his soul.

Hanzo broke eye contact with the man with a roll of his eyes and air being pushed from his nose. He murmured something in his native language before heading for the water without waiting for McCree to stutter through some kind of response.

“Hanzo.” Jesse took a step forward with a puffed chest and one hand snatching the hat off his head. His stance rang out confidence and Hanzo glanced back at it with the same dull, mildly agitated expression. The cowboy cleared his throat when they locked eyes again and caught a smirk across his face, “Wanna go on a date with me?” 

Conversation filled the air around them with waves splashing, omnics beeping, and laughter erupting but the air between them was tense, silent, and Hanzo pushed air from his nose in a puff. The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk and he folded his arms over his chest with a raised eyebrow.

“No.”

“What? Why not?!” snapped McCree. His cheeks grew rosy when they filled with air.

“I do not tend to my brother’s … sloppy seconds,” His nose scrunched with disgust and he whipped his head in the other direction, bun swinging atop his head. McCree could’ve sworn he saw him smirk before departing this conversation and heading into the water, not even giving him a chance to retort.  
A pout strung across the Southern man’s bearded face with a rosy tone delivering itself across his cheeks. He narrowed his eyes as he watched the man move through the water with ease, heart pounding -- should he follow him? Should he return to his lifeguard duties? 

That’s how Jesse ended up on the beach, far from the water, and flopping in-between Jack and Gabe with his shades obscuring his eyes and his hat lower on his head. His arms were crossed over his chest as he stared out at the pale blue sky that seemed to go on forever. He leaned heavily between the two men with both looking on him in annoyance, but he didn’t seem to notice as he kept babbling, “I don’t know why I like him, Reyes. He’s a cocksucker.” 

“Not your therapist, kid,” Reyes shook his head, giving the cowboy a push where their skin touched, but his husband was quick to push him back and add, “Aren’t you… like forty?” Jack took a swig from the can that was secured in his grip, looking at McCree’s rounded and bearded face, seeking his age.

“Don’t get me wrong--” Did the southern man even hear what the other two were saying? “Couldn’t stand the guy before I met ‘im and I barely know ‘im now!” He reached out to take the can of beer right from the former strike commander and finish it off, “I love seein’ Genji so happy, gettin’ along with his brother, and I ain’t got a clue where I was goin’ with that train a thought.” 

Jack’s hands were cupped and extended with both eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to comprehend the fact that his drink was taken right from his hands. Without a please or thank you. He looked at Gabriel for support but the other man was only rolling his eyes, “I don’t care, Jesse. I can’t even pretend I care right now.”

“Gabe, please, this is a very important conversation right now. That man makes my--”

“Por favor!” Gabriel sent his hand flying into the back of McCree’s head and knocking his hat off, “I don’t want to hear it. You’re a grown ass man, don’t sit on me and whine about not getting a date.” He clicked his tongue and waved his hand in front of him, “I don’t care if he makes your dick hard, I don’t even care if he rips your dick off--”

Jack had long grabbed another beer and whistled as he drank it, “If I was about forty years younger--”

“How old are you?” Jesse rubbed the back of his head and brought his hat back onto it as he looked at Jack for a moment. His attention flicked back to Gabriel, “I’m just--”

“No, nono, stop that, if you were forty years younger, what, Jack? What would happen if you were forty years younger? I need to hear this.” He held a hand to his former subordinate’s mouth as he stared at his husband with mild confusion and amusement mixing in with the aggravation he had felt before.

A huff came from the cowboy as he wasn’t receiving the compassionate dad time that he had desired. He put a hand on the shoulders of both men and pushed himself off the ground, “I’m gettin’ outta this one.” The beer can was discarded into Jack’s growing recycle pile and he was off to find his southern companion next.

The whistle was in his mouth, going off as he crossed the beach, “Bob, do somethin’!” He mocked his friend’s signature line with a wide smile spreading across his face. Bob, the big omnic butler himself, was sequestered off to an area of the beach that was canopied with shade. It was necessary for omnics that were built for cold weather or to be indoors or who had broken cooling systems. 

McCree whistled again once he sauntered over, pointing at Bob first, “You look like a French man from the 1920s, you’re about two hundred years too late to make that work.” Green optics flickered at the lifeguard before the mech looked down at his striped swimsuit that stopped before his elbow and knee mechanics. He looked back up and shook his head in disappointment.

Jesse’s eyes were on the omnic that laid out beside him now. It was rare to see Zenyatta without some kind of clothes on, but he had to admit -- he looked very human. He laid out on a towel like anyone else with one knee in the area while his other leg laid out flat. His optics were offline with his hands folded over his midsection. The thrum of his systems were the beat that his knee swayed to.

“And you-- do you think this is a nudist beach now?! That’s indecent, there are children!”

There were, in fact, no children at this beach.

Zenyatta released air from his vents and onlined his optics, “Hm?” He reached out to his companion’s thicker leg and used it to help him sit up. As if he couldn’t float back into place. His orbs raised from the sand behind him, beginning to circle his shoulders. The buzzing of his systems grew louder, and Jesse tilted his head.

“Just waking up from a nap?” laughed the brunette.

“Mhm, yes, I was … lifeguard,” A soft chuckle followed his words, orbs bouncing in the area. He tilted his helm to the side when Bob lowered to press his face against the side of it. Zenyatta reached one hand up to rub the back of Bob’s neck, fingers stroking the wiring there, “But, what were you saying? I’m afraid I was only half-listening, Jesse.”

Jesse’s expression softened as he watched the two omnics interact. There was something sweet about it that he felt bad for interrupting. He shook his head, however, and went on, “Just looking for Ashe, have either of you seen her?” His tone changed from the disruptive shouting and commands he had been throwing to more casual as he rocked on the balls of his feet.

“Miss Elizabeth …” hummed Zenyatta who had his other hand on Bob’s face now. He pulled him close and they looked into each other’s optics for a moment before their attention went back to the man swaying in front of them, “The last time I recall seeing Elizabeth, she was playing volleyball with Aleksandra and Fareeha. I do believe they packed it up but I have a good feeling that if you find the two of them, your dear companion shouldn’t be too far behind.” 

Jesse looked around as he listened to the omnic drone on. He felt like his words were coming out slower than normal and what would normally be relaxing had him rocking with impatience. His eyes landed back on the omnics when he got his answer and he nodded, “Thanks! Wear protection, don’t forget to spritz yourselves with water, don’t overheat!” He waved a hand before jogging away from the pair.

Find Pharah and Zarya. That should’ve been expected.

But what he didn’t expect was it would take so long to locate those two.

McCree felt like he must have walked the whole beach twice before he thought to climb up the rocks that lined the beach and flop over the fence, landing his feet onto heated asphalt. And when he saw the two. It was all muscles and sweat stains from the two of them, and that’s when the whistle went off, “Okay, lesbians, enough making out in the van!! Where’s Ashe gone off to?” He clapped his hands as he approached.

Fareeha scrunched up her nose and gave a glare, to which Jesse stuck his tongue out. Even in their thirties, the two of them managed to act like brother and sister, but Zarya spoke out as the two continued making faces at one another, “Do not interrupt us, little gay man, go off and bother anybody else.” She chuckled and finished by answering his question, “She is with Baptiste.”

“Oh, darlin’, I wouldn’t say I’m little--” He slapped his hands onto his belly and shook it, “But I shoulda known, she’s probably drinkin’ it up with him. Thanks, ladies, wear protection--” A laugh trailed his words, and he took back off to the beach. He jogged across the sand again, noticing that Orisa had gotten comfortable in the sand nearby Bob and Zenyatta. Bastion was laid out in front of them with his little bird on his chest.

McCree snorted at the sight. Upon looking towards the ocean, no one appeared to be drowning! Meaning, he was successful at his “job” so far.

He whistled and shouted, “Hey, monkey in the water!” He pointed at Winston who hoisted Lena upon his shoulders. Her arms were locked with Hana’s who sat atop Brigitte’s thick shoulder muscles.

They didn’t stop their wrestling to comment but a hardy laugh was given from the gorilla who was barely staying above the water. Even further in the water, Roadhog floated on his back with Junkrat’s gangly limbs folded on top of his belly and the oversized hamster known as Hammond in his lap. They floated around without a care in this world. And Mei wasn’t so far behind, sinking in a floatie and kicking around with her hair tied tightly atop her head. 

He broke his gaze off and headed to their certified ‘alcohol station’ where Baptiste had been mixing drinks earlier in the day. McCree had to give it to the ex-Talon member. He couldn’t imagine drinking as much as he had and trying to exercise afterwards. For a moment, he stood and watched him go toe-to-toe with Doomfist. Lifting, no less! 

Oh, that deserved a whistle.

“Listen, boys, as hot as it is, as hot as this--” Jesse gestured a hand around them, “As hot as this is, I think y’all should both go take a dip in the water. You’re working too hard!” and when he noticed Sombra and Lucio hunkered together, watching the two men, he added, “You’re gonna have a flood if you’re not careful!” He threw a finger at those two.

Sombra threw her middle fingers into the air but Lucio threw his drink in the air instead, “Horny for days!!” 

Cutting through the amusement and fun was Moira’s voice from behind him, “Don’t you have literally anything better to do?” She was laying beside Angela, and the two women were propped up on their elbows, “If I hear that whistle one more--”

Angela pushed up until she was flat on her rear, elbowing Moira, “He’s just having fun.” She cooed and offered a smile to the Hispanic man, “Looking for the whiskey?”

“And Ashe,” He explained, “And what are you doing, ma’am? Just soaking up the sour from the witch beside you?”

Angela snorted but before Moira could reply, she threw up a finger, “Don’t you two start now.”

Jesse stuck his tongue out at his former team member and swung around to the drink station, finding Reinhardt, Torbjorn, and Sigma all sitting around. He grabbed a drink from one of the coolers and propped his elbows on the fold-out table nearby. 

For a moment, he listened to the old men reminisce about old lovers. He only recognized Harold’s name, remembering having met him on a video call from the moon. He couldn’t say he knew him well, but it brought a pang of sadness to hear people who knew them so well … miss them, still mourning after so many years. 

Before he knew it, McCree had downed an entire drink while listening to the three go on. All Torbjorn had to contribute was love for his wife and children, and immense appreciation for the times where Reinhardt had saved his life. It was when the tone changed like this that McCree had enough eavesdropping.   
As he turned away from the table, he found Ashe who was camped out in a shaded area of sand, drinking and staring out to the water. Jesse joined her and flopped onto his own ass with a newly filled glass in his hand.

“What’s up, mami?” He asked with a smirk as he took another swig.

“I don’t recall sayin’ ya could pop a squat with me” was her instantaneous reply.

“Thought you could use some company-- how’s your day been? Haven’t seen ya much…” 

“Just ‘cause I joined ya little crew don’t mean we’re friends, darlin’, I’d head back and keep tryin’ to get a date if I were ya.”

“Oh, how the hell did ya find out about that one?”

“‘Cause I know ya, Jesse McCree, and I see the way you chase those brothers around like they’re bitches in heat--”

“Hey! I don’t chase Genji ‘round like that no more, we’re content being friends--”

Ashe threw her head back in laughter, “Yeah, and I’d turn down Doctor Mercy over there if she asked me to suck her titties--” Her sarcasm poured off her red lips.

“Ain’t ya just the classiest lady? Is that all you think about? Tits?”

Ashe rolled onto her front and held her drink out in front of her, “And what do you think about? Tits? Ass? Cock?” 

McCree couldn’t help but smirk, “All of the above! But shush now, don’t disrespect ‘em.”

“Oh, go find something to suck and get off my tail, can’t ya see I’m trying to tan?”

“Tan? You’re tryin’ to tan?” Now, he was laughing up a storm, “You’re gonna burn like the witch you are! Oh, why did I even bother lookin’ for your ass? You and Moira oughta go out together, y’all would have plenty to bitch about--” He raised his glass and swung back the rest of his drink. He reached over to pat one of Ashe’s ass cheeks that was peaking out of her bikini before flipping right onto his feet.

“Yeah, yeah, you just ain’t used to women being so bored of dealing with ya--” She shooed him away and closed her eyes.

So much for hanging out with his old buddy …

He broke across the beach as he had several times this afternoon. Jesse paced himself, really taking in everyone’s joy as he strolled about, and waving a hand with a “Howdy” and a smile. As he socialized, he was surprised to see Hanzo walk right up to him. He grabbed his beard and turned the taller man to look him in the eye.

“You will cook me dinner tonight. At your apartment. And we will get drunk. The good stuff--” He released his beard and walked away before Jesse even had time to process what had just happened.

Genji followed his brother and stopped to pat Jesse’s cheek, “You see, McCree, he’ll take my sloppy seconds if you let him define the terms. You two enjoy your date tonight. If he gets sloppy, call me.” He leaned up to kiss his cheek before throwing himself into a conversation that Junkrat and Lucio were having.

Jesse McCree blinked harshly. “Well, shucks, I’ll take it--” He shrugged to himself before beelining it for Reyes and Sombra who were whispering in Spanish to one another. He flopped down with them, immediately joining in the bilingual conversation to let them know about his date.

A beach day and dinner at home with Hanzo? He couldn’t babble enough about his excitement!


End file.
